This is my story
I am a fat person, always have been and always thought i would be. There are no pictures of me around, I hide all the photos of me even now.
My weight has always been an issue. I was put into hospital at 7 years old to go on a calorie counted diet 500 calories a day and no more. This i did for 7 weeks and lost quite a bit, but as soon as i came home, the temptations for a 7 year old were great and i put it back on and more.
This continued throughout my childhood, even going back into hospital on two more occassions. Mr weight didn't really bother me at school, i certainly wasn't bullied. But it did bother me, inside it did. I couldn't wear the same clothes as my friends, none of the boys were really interested in me, i was just the fat friend of the good looking one.
I got married too young and had a family too young. The marriage was a disaster and was never going to last. As i realised things were never going to change, i did, i lost over 4 stone by sensible eating and excercising. I felt great about myself and had loads more confidence.
I split with my husband and eventually met a great guy. We are now married and he loves my size, needless to say with working full time now and being in a happy relationship, the weight went back on. I watched Supersize surgery on the t.v and knew thats what i wanted to do. My friend had been through an operation to reduced her stomach and it had nearly killed her. I vowed i would never do that, but the band seemed to answer all my prayers. I sent of for all the information and kept hold of it for quite a few weeks.
My husband was really against the operation, he could only see the dangers in it and not the plus side. After many hours of discussion and an incident in a car park where a woman walked past me with her two teenage children, giggling and looking back at me laughing, he agreed that i could have it done. He never noticed the people looking at me and laughing when we were out, but i did, i noticed it all the time.
I finally had my surgery in August 2006 and expected miracles. I was a nervous wreck on the day, only my closest friend knew i was having it done. I couldn't bear to tell my family. I felt so angry with myself for having to resort to this and not having the will power to do something about it myself. I tried to go back to work two days after the op, but i got sent home. I was in a lot of discomfort, the port was hurting me and the trapped wind was unbearable, it seemed to build up as the day went on. Gradually i improved and coped quite well.
My husband feared that the pounds would be falling off me, but they're not. I have had two fills and i have only lost just over a stone and a half since the op in August. I do feel very disheartened, each pound i loose is great but it is going very slowly. I am so pleased that i have found this site, it's lonely going through this on your own when your husband loves you the way you are and your size 10 friend really can't see things through your eyes.
I want to be the person who isn't afraid of taking her kids swimming, taking them to theme parks. I want to be able to walk into a restaurant without lowering my head so i don't have to make eye contact with people. If you make eye contact you just know what they are thinking- my god look at the size of her, whats she doing coming in here. We all turn a blind eye to the hurtfull things until one day it does hurt and you know that you have to make the change in your own life. No-one can change you but you, but to change we need help and support. I've started to change and although i wish it was quicker, i know it's my life that has to change not just my waist size.
Very disillusioned, keep posting on the site with problems i have but they seem to be dismissed. It still seems to be those that are succeeding are getting praise, those who need help are being ignored.
Has been a Buddy since:
05-02-2007 7:25 pm
Total forum posts: 96
165.35 lbs (75.00 kg)
279.99 lbs (127.00 kg)
302.03 lbs (137.00 kg)
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