This is my story
Always a very skinny child, people used to ask if I was eating enough! Age 10, hips & t*ts appeared making me stand out against all my friends. I felt huge and started skipping meals in an attempt to make these new features shrink and there started my battle with food. Some days I would starve, but hunger and temptation always won and I would end up overeating to make up for the meals lost. Then followed years of trying every diet plan going. I found an advert in our local paper for Cambridge Diet, and aged just 12 I purchased this and for months lived on basically a glorified milk shake, hidden from my Mum, the same as I somehow found ways to avoid or dispose of our evening meal. This magic diet did make me lose weight, but it didn't stop my boobs growing funny enough! So, onto the next diet, then the next and one after that. They all worked at the time but as soon as pressure to "eat properly" came I always went oveboard and couldn't stop eating, I guess my body wanted what it had missed? So there followed weight gain. Looking back I now realise that at age 12, height 5ft 4 and a weight of 7st 9lb, I wasn't even overweight. In my photos I look fine, but I felt so FAT! And of course, as the years have gone by with yo-yo dieting, I am now indeed obese (I hate the word fat!!) - I still am now 5ft 4, I haven't grown an inch in height since puberty, but I sure have made up for it in inches all over my body :(
I have lost weight through all sorts of different methods, both "fads", plans, pills and even good old healthy eating with exercise, but it has always crept back on and added a bit more with it. Almost like a message from my body. "Hey, you deprived me and made me lose weight, so here, have it back with an extra 10lb to boot" Gee, thanks
The most successful weightloss to date has been when I was in a miserable marriage. Like most women, I put on weight after my wedding then also topped it up with 2 x children. My Dad dragged me along to Slimming World where I lost 4.5st, gained lots of confidence, got rid of the husband (who hated the new slim me!). That was 10 years ago, it was the happiest time of my life. I finally felt I was in control of me and loved myself, remember sometimes lifting the bedsheets some mornings to check I hadn't dreamt it and feeling soooooooooooo happy with what I saw (apart from the strechmarks but Shirley Valentine helped with my line for that)
So, why is it 10 years down the road I find my body has once again given my 4.5st back, plus an extra 2st? When did it do that without me noticing?!?
I know it's me. I like going out for dinner in nice places, I like going to eat in fastfood places. I love takeaways, adore crisps, love pastries, sloppy toast and butter, crumpets, bread.. In fact, everything with the exception of sweet things strangely. I never feel full, I know I have eaten enough but still can't stop myself having more, never say no to puddings. The portion size's I serve are ridiculous, I know it but can't control it and I don't know why
So, it's time for action. I will get control of my body again. The key word there is "again" because like most reading this (you still awake!) I've lost it, gained it, lost it, gained it. Therefore I aim to give my body something which will assist in me taking over it again and stop it passing the lbs back with extras. I don't see this as failure on my part, nor a quick fix. Just an assistant to work for/with me and, well, assist!
WILLPOWER, YOU LET ME DOWN AGAIN AND I HAVE MADE THE DECISION YOU HAVE NO PLACE IN MY TEAM ANYMORE, YOU'RE FIRED!
GASTRIC BAND, YOU'RE HIRED!!
Thanks for reading, hope to meet people in the same boat so we can help each other along the way to being losers ;)
xxx |
Has been a Buddy since:
22-04-2009 10:30 pm
Total forum posts: 21
Ideal weight:
125.99 lbs (57.15 kg)
Starting weight:
207.12 lbs (93.95 kg)
I spend my free time:
Reading / Writing
TV / Cinema
The Internet / Gadgets
Restaurants / Tea shops
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