DESPERATELY SEEKING.... myself!! The Me I know I can be.
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This Buddy last logged in at 25-04-2010
Birthday: 29-03-1964
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This is my story
I've been overweight for the last 17 years, since I had both my children. I've tried every diet going over those years. The "Chris Patten" Diet, the cabbage diet... I just ended up hating Chris Patten and cabbage!! Slimming World, Weight Watchers, Cambridge Diet, the British Heart foundation, yes beetroot and a cracker.... I'd lose weight but then it would find me again and then some... always ending up heavier than when I started.
Somewhere I've got lost in the comfort eating habit and the extra weight that I've been carrying. I'm sick of covering up, I want to desperately lose the weight and shine, to be myself again. So when I walk past a window or catch sight of myself in the mirror I actually recognise that person as the me I want to be. Not to hide when photos are being taken or dread seeing them if one happens to catch me. To feel more confident, sexy, the woman I know I can be. To start living again. Having had my confidence knocked out of me from hurtful comments from my partner (who's skinny and really doesn't understand) hasn't helped, because then I've just comfort ate, then felt guilty, then ate some more. To go from a size 18/20 to a size 12/14 would be my dream/goal, I don't want to be a skinny size 0. To have more energy and feel more healthy.
I've had problems with my knees over the last year, although I had a couple of falls which damaged them, having had recent knee surgery and being told my BMI is high at 37, so they'd have to check with the anaesthetist as it's higher than it should be, made me feel like they should wheel me in on two trollies.. LOL. The surgeons have said the extra weight I've been carrying doesn't help and I have a lot of wear and tear, I want my own knee caps not replacement ones..!!
I've actually had 3 sessions of hypnotherapy now and been hypnotised yesterday to have a gastric band.... (in my mind, ok not in my mind but you know what I mean..!!) So far in the last 4 weeks I've lost a stone... so really my weight should read starting weight 97kgs, not 103... although it was 4 weeks ago... watch this space. Mind over matter, don't they say?? Well it certainly MATTER's and I do MIND being overweight... so I'm using my MIND to help.
